[Header Photo by Daniel Lerman on Unsplash]

Margot was

Margot was always

Margot was always looking

Margot was always looking over

Margot was always looking over the shoulder

Margot was always looking over the shoulder of what

Margot was always looking over the shoulder of what she had

Margot was always looking over the shoulder of what she had in front

Margot was always looking over the shoulder of what she had in front of her

—P.L. Thomas

---

when my grandson was a toddler
i was his daycare on tuesdays

the way i had helped with care
for his older sister then in school

we were playing on the floor
when he jumped up to go downstairs

i struggled to get to my feet
as he turned back to me exasperated

i am getting too old for this
i told him still on one knee

i don’t like you being old he said
i don’t either, i don’t either i replied

this is the only real option humans have
getting too old for this our inevitable

there is joy and suffering in too old for this
the existential reality of our rock and hill

too old for the nonsense is a freedom
too old to endure the weight is a losing

my knuckles and hands are stiff and slow
as i rub my grandson’s head and smile

at eight now he is a quick laugh and full of life
i will never grow too old for this

—P.L. Thomas

[Header Photo by Ron Szalata on Unsplash]

someone died today
and made my partner cry

i am afraid of dying
but more afraid of not living

not living like today
is the only today we have

how do we do this living
better than our fear of dying

and i slip into the arch of your foot
that i rub my thumb across

someone died today
and made my partner cry

i am afraid of dying
but more afraid of not living

sometimes i fear i am the frailest
sometimes i fear you are the frailest

i heard you talking in your sleep
did you feel me longing there

this is the best we can do
because this is the only us we can be

someone died today
and made my partner cry

i am afraid of dying
but more afraid of not living

i want to take your hand in mine
tell you i am sorry that i will die

i want to lie beside you in our bed
and do this night after night forever

because the shadows show us
where to turn to see the light

someone died today
and made my partner cry

i am afraid of dying
but more afraid of not living

—P.L. Thomas

[Header Photo by Антон Дмитриев on Unsplash]

There is only dance music in times of war

“100 Horses,” Geese

---

be careful
what you allow Them
to call War

Casualties
Collateral Damage
The Enemy

someone should take your hand darling
whisper softly in your ear

there is no DMZ
be careful
what you allow

those bullets are for us
those bullets are for everyone

there are landmines all around
the placement indiscriminate
the destruction is on purpose

and this callousness
is never ending
never ending

there is no DMZ
be careful
what you allow

—P.L. Thomas

And I will break my own heart
I will break my own heart from now on
“Taxes,” Geese

you have never
broken my heart

i trust you
will never break my heart

i did not sign up for this
cracked a fissure in my heart

•

like the summer
you went away with someone else

when i asked you
if i had been there

would it have hurt my feelings
and you said yes

•

you have never
broken my heart

i trust you
will never break my heart

i did not sign up for this
cracked a fissure in my heart

•

when i see my hand
i see my father’s hand

unsure if it is the veins
or the shape of the hand

it is the hand holding your foot
in relief again your skin

•

you have never
broken my heart

i trust you
will never break my heart

i did not sign up for this
cracked a fissure in my heart

•

(this hasn’t happened yet
but i know that it will)

i am listening to music you don’t like
on my noise canceling headphones

you are making your dinner
that i won’t eat

and then suddenly it seems
everything was exactly as it should have been

•

you have never
broken my heart

i trust you
will never break my heart

i did not sign up for this
cracked a fissure in my heart

—P.L. Thomas

[Header Photo by Brian McGowan on Unsplash]

once upon a time

there was a storyteller
who lost their way

something was wrong
with the crosshairs

every time they looked
down the scope

they saw only
a blurred gray void

—P.L. Thomas

[Header Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash]

“They can all/Just kiss off into the air”

“Hard to Find,” The National

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Testament †

I bring you warm coffee in bed as ritual

Hoping you weren’t disturbed by my morning noises

I rub my beard over your bare shoulder

Before kissing you and you smile

I slip into memory: Your Tiger’s blood breath

Testament ††

The next thing I do

Will still be you

The only thing I will ever do

Will always be you

Some people just keep falling in love

Testament †††

A harmless swarm of honeybees

Carried on a cool October breeze

Sending my hand like a prayer to your knees

Underneath our warm pink sheets

Some people dream about their lover beside them

Testament ††††

We will never burn it down

We will never leave it all behind

We will never comb through our lost and found

We will never be careless and unkind

Our sacraments in these terabytes of love

Testament ††††

Are you proud of my new music crush?

Although it is another Brooklyn band

And I annoy you singing along

“Baby, let me wash your feet forever”

These land sharks of just you and me

Holding hands like this is the first time

Testament †††††

Who am I

To testify

Who am I

To crucify

Who am I

To sanctify

Who am I

To die

—P.L. Thomas

[Header Photo by Degaharu on Unsplash]

i did not come here

to take anything from you

i did not come here

to give you anything

but if there is something to share

i am here to stay

and even when you are gone

i will be patiently waiting

sitting alone on our staircase

because you took our only keys

—P.L. Thomas